Let’s Talk: How are we raising our boys?

On May 15, a video of three seventh grade boys sexually assaulting a first grade girl was published on various media outlets. The incident occurred a few days before in the yard of Faik Konica elementary school in the heart of the capital.

We hear about such cases almost every day: Men subjecting women to sexual violence, be it in the heart of the city or in the outskirts, at school or at home. Nowhere is safe for women and girls.

When we talk about violence as a tool for the subjugation of half the population, and about the consequences it entails, it is not rare that we are confronted with sentiments such as “teach your daughter [how to behave / dress / what to say].”

Instead, we want to talk about what we teach our boys. Boys are actively taught to be superior, strong and violent. And the culprit cannot be identified with great accuracy because it is everywhere. Boys are taught toxic masculinity almost everywhere and by almost everyone — in textbooks, where courage is deemed a manly act; in institutions, which continue to shelter sexists; in commercials, where women cook while men watch TV; and in music, where women are treated like a tradable commodity.

In countless households, girls have to pipe down and fear their brothers. In police stations, women reporting violence and harassment are disregarded because of their dress. In primetime TV debates, influential figures are allowed to talk about the trafficking of women and girls — without the slightest consequence — as if it were the most ordinary thing in the world.

After the video was published where a seven or eight-year-old girl is sexually assaulted, Prishtina’s public squares were flooded with high school students and other citizens who protested against sexual violence toward women and girls, which has become the norm. They demanded, at the top of their lungs, that sexual violence be considered a trauma, and not as “a children’s game.”

The question about how we are raising our boys should be asked by parents, teachers, leaders of educational institutions, the police, the prosecution, deputies, the government and the presidency. The responsibility is manifold, thus we cannot be satisfied solely with statements by institutions that condemned the case.

“How are we raising our boys?” is the question that we want to raise in this online discussion, which will be streamed on May 24 on K2.0’s Facebook page. To kick off the discussion, we have invited:

– Dr. Bergita Curri, forensic specialist

– Krenare Lleshi, education professional

– Rron Rama, Young Men Team Leader at NGO SIT

– Ene Aliu, student at Sami Frashëri high school and organizer of the student protest

The discussion will be moderated by K2.0 program manager Aulonë Kadriu.

*English and Serbian translation will be provided.

Feature image: Atdhe Mulla, Arrita Katona / K2.0

This edition of Let’s Talk is financed by the National Endowment for Democracy.