I find myself standing at a crossroads, facing a challenging decision that has been consuming me. It is a dilemma that requires careful consideration and introspection. The question is whether to stay in my homeland or venture into the unknown and seek a new life elsewhere.
Many Kosovars confront this choice; usually their emigration is precipitated by the feeling that there is a lack of opportunity in Kosovo. But that wasn’t the case for me.
Growing up, I did not have much. My family struggled to make ends meet, and we often went without basic necessities. But I was determined to make something of myself, and I worked hard to build a successful life. I’m proud of where I am now in my career as a software engineer. Along this journey I’ve received support and guidance from dedicated teachers in high school and university professors, including one who helped me land my first job while in college.
This is maybe not the traditional story of someone who is trying to flee the country. Despite challenges, I’ve had opportunities in my life and I’ve always worked to take advantage of them. But there have also been costs. I’ve had to be apart from my family at times due to work, though they’ve always supported me. I’ve even lost friendships due to career stress. I dedicated countless hours to my work, often losing track of time, until a fateful moment in 2017 when I was diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism. Today I’m still facing the consequences.
That is why I’m contemplating moving abroad. I’ve been left feeling unsettled about my future because Kosovo does not have the medical support or infrastructure that I need to deal with long-term health concerns. I can’t trust my life to the medical system here, the negligence of which has already had dire consequences for my health.
I live in constant fear that I will fall ill and will not have the care that I need. It is a fear that has been with me for a long time, and it is only getting stronger as I get older. I cannot afford to take my health for granted, and I cannot continue to live with this fear hanging over my head.
Now I face the prospect of leaving Kosovo behind and starting anew in a place that has a more reliable healthcare system. I am willing to take the risk and embrace the unknown in pursuit of the security and peace of mind necessary to lead a happy and fulfilling life. Goodbye Kosovo.
Feature image: Atdhe Mulla via MidJourney
