It is not as complicated as it sounds. If something is not true, it means it is false. These are called lies. We all use them, but some people use them more often than others. Nowadays, the grownups in your neighborhood are the ones that increasingly do so.

Understand that you live in a free speech neighborhood and are free to make any claim. For example no one can prevent you from saying “gravity does not exist and it’s all in your head.” If your neighborhood goes through the trouble of being committed to freedom of expression, then it should be your responsibility to prove those facts are true. The best way to demonstrate that “gravity does not exist” would be if you jumped from the fifth floor. If your statement is right, you should float. If you end up with your brains splattered all over the pavement, it means your theory didn’t withstand the experimental inquiry and may need some revisions.

The good thing is that your scientist friends will gather around and, as a peer group, evaluate and revise your claims. They will look at your blood and brain splattered against the dark asphalt background and analyze the Jackson Pollock-like patterns, concluding that you might’ve been partially right. While you were wrong about the gravity, you were actually right about something not being quite right with your head. Until further notice the current gravitational theory will still stand.

Honor in a neighborhood of thieves

But who cares about gravity when you live in a neighborhood of thieves? All you probably care about is if your lemonade business will be able to launch properly and turn a profit, especially when you consider that one kid in your neighborhood who always comes around and demands you pay her for protection against bullies.

“Think of it as an insurance policy,” she says. “It would be just terrible if something were to accidentally happen to you or your lemonade stand,” and so you pay up, because it seems like you don’t have a choice. What makes matters worse, the racketeering queen is your cousin, so you can’t just rat her out to the grownups. “It’s a matter of honor,” she says. “You wouldn’t betray family, would you?”

So what do you do? How do you deal with your corrupt cousin? Ah, there she is again, coaching your little brother to pickpocket people on the street. Did you know she is in charge of that brainy kid’s homework racket? Ever since she took over, the demand for test questions and term papers tripled.

Last week, she convinced, or should I say, made, everyone play hide and seek when no one felt like it. And what’s worse, everyone had to play by her rules. One thing though, even though she’s your cousin, never ever ask to borrow any money from her. She’s like a financial wizard, everything from pyramid schemes to plain old usury and broken kneecaps.

In a way, it’s a free country, right? And she should be able to do whatever crazy thing she’s into. No problem, she should go ahead, as long as she doesn’t force others to do the same. Just because one might’ve let her do whatever she wanted that one time (out of respect, mind you), she shouldn’t misuse their good will and hijack the very concept of freedom. But one time is often all it takes for the trojan horse of corruption to take over and begin to impose its values on others.

I know this is difficult to hear, especially since you are bound by an honor code to never betray family. But she is just getting too strong. Half the kids in the neighborhood are under her influence. Pretty soon, there will be no one left to oppose her. She will become a de facto queen of the ‘hood. Or even worse, she will make it possible for some power-hungry kid to rise to power and become the playground dictator.

What is the solution, then? This is a tough one. How do you betray family? Where’s the honor in that? But then, what’s honorable in your brother stealing, your cousin bribing the neighborhood kids, that brainy kid selling test questions, or that poor kid being beaten up because he couldn’t scrape up the 250 percent interest he owes?

I know, I never said it would be easy to live in freedom. Now that you’ve grown up, you can’t have others make decisions for you. It’s your responsibility to make the right choice. These tough questions of honor ultimately come down to what you value more: family or freedom.

Ironically, you have the thieves and corrupt kids in your neighborhood to thank for introducing you to ethics. As romantic as they might sound, this queen of crooks and her band of thieves, are actually more dangerous for the neighborhood than any of the other risks combined. Above all, you should think about what kind of a neighborhood you want to live in. Is it a place where everyone is equal and free? Or is it a place where everyone is being told what to do by some tyrant?

Don’t become a jerk, just because you can!

I understand it’s difficult to resist peer pressure. Remember, all drugs are bad. Even though all the cool kids are flirting with it, that doesn’t mean you should be tempted too. From the ancient times until now, all the tyrants and dictators have been addicts. And power is the oldest and the most powerful drug of all.

I saw you looking at the older kids with admiration. It’s understandable, you want to be like them. Who wouldn’t want to be like Vladimir, riding his horse shirtless while all the schoolgirls salivate at the glow of his sweaty biceps as he aims his bow and shoots arrows at his closest friends. How you adore that Recep kid when he walks the streets like an almighty sultan, slapping not only anyone who disagrees with him, but six degrees of their extended family too. Or even Donald, your newest best friend, tweeting like there’s no tomorrow — and who knows, maybe there won’t be a tomorrow if he accidentally tweets the nuclear launch codes.

I know, the neighborhood is turning into one tough and dangerous place. For a young and aspiring new kid on the block, it is very easy to get sucked into the whole strongman game, because, let’s face it, it’s so much fun to have your every command blindly obeyed.

But remember this, kid, it never turns out well in the end. Never.

Remember that Caesar fellow from some time ago? Used to live couple of streets over, by the seven hills. You know how he ended up after being a major bully and thinking he could do whatever he liked with no consequences? It’s not like he wasn’t warned. All the neighborhood kids got together and said “Julius, buddy, we love you, but this constant bullying is not cool, and you have to please stop.”

A guide for a 9-year-old kid

How to survive in the neighborhood.

Artrit Bytyci

A guide for a 9-year-old kid

How to survive in the neighborhood.

Artrit Bytyci