‘In shared spaces, love is not just an abstract concept’

Shared spaces cultivate love and community.

By Vlera Zymeri | July 6, 2024

In “All About Love,” bell hooks explores the idea of rediscovering love from a place of wholeness and a spirit of fearlessness. Looking at it from an urban perspective, hooks’ idea of love as a transformative force speaks directly to the need to build strong, supportive communities in urban areas.

In the heart of the city, where the rhythm of life never seems to slow down, love finds its way into the most unexpected places. From the vibrant third places — neither homes nor workplaces but places essential to urban existence — to the quiet corners of neighborhood parks, the tapestry of urban life is woven with threads of affection and connection. Much like public places, third places are arenas where people come together to socialize, explore and encounter new versions of themselves.

The importance of third places

Third places’ importance becomes even more apparent when public spaces fall short of accommodating diversity and promoting inclusivity. It’s in these moments that third places become shelters where we find the comfort and the solace we yearn for. When public spaces fail to make us comfortable, third spaces emerge as our arenas of refuge.

Friendships take root, ideas are shared and love blossoms in diverse expressions in venues like cafes, bars and community centers.

Ray Oldenburg, an urban sociologist, puts it this way: third places are spaces “where friends meet, where neighbors share news, where business is done, where strangers start talking.”

But amid the hustle and bustle of city life, some seek more than just a place to gather. They seek a sanctuary, a haven where they can be themselves without fear or judgment.

But amid the hustle and bustle of city life, some seek more than just a place to gather.

In Kosovo, the necessity for safe spaces for the LGBTQ+ community is particularly stark.

That’s why places like Bubble Pub in Prishtina are so significant. Tucked away on a side street, away from the noise of the bustling boulevard, Bubble Pub is more than just a place to grab a drink — it offers a sense of belonging, a community where individuals can gather, express themselves and love freely.

For Lend Mustafa, Bubble Pub’s founder, “Our biggest success is the togetherness we have created. It cannot be unseen. When people come here they just feel at home.” At Bubble Pub, patrons aren’t just customers; they’re family, bound by a shared desire for a space where they can simply be themselves, free from judgment or fear.

In a country where socially conservative values and attitudes can cause challenges for LGBTQ+ individuals, Bubble Pub shows how third places can play a key role in the struggle for inclusion and acceptance.

In Ludwig Hirschfeld’s “The Vienna That’s Not in the Baedeker,” there is a profound reflection on the idea of the third places we need today. Although the book was published in 1929, thinking of third places as “The place for them all, a meeting place for lovers, a club for people of common tastes or interests, an office for the occasional businessman, a resting place for the dreamer, and a home for many a lonely soul,” remains relevant. In Kosovo, these spaces are more than physical locations; they are places of warmth and belonging, where everyone is embraced with open arms.

The potential of public space

Activists and citizens have pushed public spaces toward inclusivity and diverse expressions of love. Pride parades are a great example of this. When celebrated in public spaces, Pride becomes more than just an event; it becomes a proclamation of authenticity, a celebration of diversity. Voices once silenced rise in chorus, reclaiming their right to love openly and unapologetically.

Jane Jacobs’ perspective on public spaces, where cities are approached as living beings and ecosystems, underscores the vital role of diversity and inclusivity in urban life. Pride parades, for instance, breathe life into urban neighborhoods, fostering acceptance and understanding in the vibrant tapestry of city life. As Jacobs asserted, “Cities have the capability of providing something for everybody, only because, and only when, they are created by everybody.”

In Jacobs’ vision, a city full of life is capable of supporting more vital communities, contributing to the idea that places with high density are crucial for nurturing social growth. And while different neighborhoods bring people of different cultural backgrounds together, traditions and perspectives, public spaces within such neighborhoods become arenas for cultural exchange and mutual understanding.

Through joint events and celebrations, residents have the opportunity to learn and appreciate the richness of each other’s cultures. In different neighborhoods, public spaces are nodes where individuals from different walks of life intersect. And love, in its most delicate forms, manifests through small acts of kindness, courtesy and consideration towards others.

And love, in its most delicate forms, manifests through small acts of kindness, courtesy and consideration towards others.

In shared spaces, love is not just an abstract concept. Rather, it is enacted through many symbolic gestures — a lingering look between partners, a hug from friends, or shared laughter.

Presently, public spaces in Kosovo often serve functional purposes, catering to basic needs such as transportation, commerce and recreation. While these spaces fulfill practical requirements, they may lack the depth of emotional connection and community engagement.

A very close-to-heart example for me are parks. While the main parks across Kosovo fulfill practical needs such as recreation and relaxation, they often fall short of fostering the deeper emotional connections and sense of community that are so essential to the human experience. Despite their lovely landscapes, many lack the intentional design needed to truly bring people together. Are they truly crafted with the community in mind? Do they offer spaces that actively encourage social interaction and the forging of connections? Sadly, more often than not, the answer is no.

Instead, we’re left with a series of amenities that cater to individual preferences but do little to unite us as a community. While they may meet immediate needs, it does little to unite park-goers in a shared experience. And despite our longing for connection, we’re left with spaces that do little to foster a sense of belonging and togetherness.

Love is not limited to private spheres, but permeates everywhere, shaping interactions, relationships and our social experience. As individuals engage in these spaces such as parks, they build connections, share resources and collectively contribute to community well-being.

This collective sense of well-being reflects love that extends beyond individual relationships.

hooks writes in “All About Love” that “to live consciously we have to engage in critical reflection about the world we live in and know it most intimately.” We should think of love as a feeling that touches the community as a whole and use public spaces to cultivate it. Where there is love, there is a profound sense of belonging, so embrace love wholeheartedly whenever it finds you.

Feature Image: K2.0.

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